Update at the Bodell Ranch

Happy Holidays everyone. We are in full swing. Madeline and I put up the outside lights, which have been a little tricky--it's hard to be festive and hungry at the same time! The microwave blows the circuit. So, I am getting a lot of exercise running in and outside or up and down the stairs to flip the circuit breaker. It's my new training program instead of the Pilates jump boards which I am avoiding, so not to jar my brain.

The bathroom had a leaky toilet so it ruined our tile and foyer ceiling. Good reason for me to remodel the bathroom. Trust me I wasn't muttering those words a couple weeks ago.

I am proud to say I attended a breakfast with Madeline. Her Chemistry teacher nominated her for Student of the Month. She works so hard. It is nice that she has been recognized for it.

And finally, today after a week of sprinting to the front door to look at the mail, David was accepted to the University of New York's Tisch School of Drama. He applied for early decision and auditioned/interviewed in New York on November 11th. He/we are so thrilled and relieved. It is a wonderful Christmas gift and a terrific way to start the New Year! I am so proud.

And to all our family and friends, have a happy holiday season. We are missing Kurt, but know he is here in spirit. Remember he was about fun and celebration and had that shit eating grin on his face. Keep on smiling.

xoxo jani

Update

I didn't realize we still had a fan club and that people actually, still read this blog! Thank you. It's therapeutic for me too!

Okay....I had my hair cut pixy short before surgery... the scar is 99% covered by my lovely salt and pepper colors, my blond highlights are gone, and my head is still healing! I am trying to get back to normal despite the 2 hour naps and occasional funky pains and numbness in my head. My nurse told me to "listen to my body, if something is too heavy, put it down; if you are tired, sleep. My body is saying a lot of things, however, exercise seems to be my concern. Unfortunately, that's my only restriction until Dec. 3rd which is my MRI/Dr. Appt. All in all, I am feeling good and glad this ordeal is behind me. Thanks again to alllllll the wonderful family and friends that have prayed and helped us AGAIN. Gosh, I am so lucky and so very spoiled--who's going to clean my house, cook, and iron for me next year!!??

Madeline and David are doing fine. Grades are awesome. They've been helpful--occasionally I had to point to my head to remind them that I had brain surgery--that's okay, better that, than me laid up in bed in trauma. How long can I use the "I had brain surgery" card (which is the running joke around here. Last night I parked at the high school before the musical in a no parking spot, Ilooked at Mari and said, "I'm sorry, I'm Charlie Brown's mom AND I had brain surgery!"We laughed and got out of the car. It works well for phone soliciters too!)

Back to the kids...David currently is Charlie Brown in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." It's a charming production, and the cast is terrific. They work so well together. Congrats, David. Your talent blows my mind. I am so proud that you can juggle this craziness from college apps to working at Baker's Shoes. David had his early decision interviews and auditions at NYU. He was very happy with the day. Thank you to my brother for escorting David to NY. He will find out in December if he has been accepted. On the other good hand, he received word that he was accepted at Indiana U. and U. of Michigan. He will audition in February for those schools for the theatre department.

Madeline, I am proud of you too. Your hard work just shows your dedication to your future. I can't imagine learning two languages at one time. It was great watching you play tennis this fall. You kicked butt, and I am so happy that you had such a great time with Maeve and the team.

Holidays. My gosh, I can't believe it's the end of November. It's going to be weird without Kurt physically here. I believe he's here spiritually. We all need to believe that. Who else, besides Dr. Byrne got me through that surgery! Someone suggested we come up with different traditions--feel free to pass some onto me--please don't suggest baking cookies. We did that years ago and after about 20 minutes, the kids were off and running, and I was eating stiff sugar cookies. I have my gifts and baking isn't one of them!

Love to all, wishing you a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving. xoxo jani

Jani's Brain Surgery

So what did you do last weekend? Well I had brain surgery! It's all so ridiculous. However, it's done! Over! Feeling good. Came home on Wednesday. The tumor is benign which is what we expected. I get the 21 staples removed on Wednesday. Rush Hospital is fantastic. The doctors and nursing staff are wonderful. I am proud to say that the company I work for (SPM) create their commercials/advertising.

Tammy Dobrez is off the charts. Anyone that scrubs my floor and irons my dish towels is a gift from God! It was fun having her stay with me and the kids too! My brother is the best brother on the face of this earth. He is a giver! Mom stayed with me too. Lots of laughs watching Christopher Guest movies with her. And the entourage of family, love, food, laughs, flowers, visits from all sorts of friends (Uncle, Don Hodgman, thank you for driving 3 1/2 hrs to hang with us.You are a sweetheart. ) The friends keep giving. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

So after all this subsides, my goal is to plan a fantastic vacation--one for me and one for the kids and me. Not sure where, not sure when. We deserve it. It's fun to think about it. Life is too short friends, enjoy it! xoxo love to all, jani

Looking forward to the end of 2009

Well, the kids are back to school, grades, so far are super. Maddy had a fantastic tennis season this sophomore year. Currently she is taking French and Chinese, hoping someday to work international. David sent his applications off to various schools and has a musical theatre audition at NYU on November 11th. My brother, Joe is accompanying him since I will be recovering from surgery.

Yes, surgery, because the year wasn't stressful enough, I have to have brain surgery. Yep I found out at the end of July and just told family/friends two weeks ago. After losing Kurt I didn't think announcing the brain tumor would be good timing! I have a menginoma (i am sure I've misspelled that--not in spell check!), a benign tumor on the lining of my brain. Long story, but I had an MRI a while ago for something else, someone caught a glimpse of this spot a year ago, diagnosed it as a cluster of veins, but wanted me to come back just in case--have a year follow up MRI, to make sure it wasn't getting bigger/possibly a tumor. Well it is a tumor and is growing very slowly.

The good news is that I don't have any symptoms (loss of vision/seizures, etc.). It isn't pressing on anything. Remember it is not on the brain. It is on the lining. I had to the choice to take it out now, a year or two from now, which would be risky for the above mentioned symptoms, and I didn't want to think about it much longer. Cutting a 2 1/2 diameter hole in my head is freaky. Shaving half of my head freaked me out too so I cut my hair reallllly short--pixie cut (about as short as Kurt's was after one of his haircuts!) This is really putting a damper on my social life!

My friends and family once again are coming to the rescue. I am planning on Kurt and my grandparents to be watching over me too! I go in Sunday, October 18th to Rush University; surgery on the 19th (Dr. Richard Byrne); hospital stay for 4-5 days; recovering at home for at least two weeks. The kids are handling it well. I think they finally understand that this isn't a life or death situation, just an annoyance and inconvenience AND a big headache.

I will be fine. Just another challenge in the lives of the Bodell Family. Thank you for your love, support, and friendship. We couldn't have survived these ordeals with you.

xoxo jani

September 14th in the Bodell House

The kids are back in school, busy as ever...David is rehearsing for "Under the Milkwood" at LTHS for the weekend of Sept. 25th. He just got the lead in "Your a Good Man, Charlie Brown"--he's Charlie--on stage November 21st weekend. Madeline made the sophomore tennis team and has been playing tournaments every weekend. Needless to say, but I am going to say it anyways, I don't see the whites of their eyes 'til about 6pm every day. On the college front, David is applying for early decision at NYU, but also will apply at Yale, Northwestern, Michigan and U of I. Hopefully he will audition there in October if he his application is accepted. Please keep your fingers crossed. He loves New York!

I have been keeping very busy hanging out with friends--going to see bands, (playing the tambourine, occasionally, LOL) and straightening out financial "stuff." I'm using more of my brain than I'd like to, but to find the positive, I am learning alot! I've learned that it takes 15 people to do the job of one in the benefits center. I think I may take up a management career. Common sense doesn't seem to be out there, and I think I could save some companies a hell of a lot of money if they consolidated jobs and became a bit more efficient. But what do I know other than I have about 50 more grey hairs. I also know that the Social Security Dept. likes to make people crazy. Unfortunately I asked them about David saving his SS money for college and they reported me. Now I have to prove that I spent every time they gave us so far on the children's needs or "they want me to send it back!" Can I add another LOL!

The Audi is still in one piece, knock on wood. I'm still having difficulty backing out of parking spaces that slope the front end downwards. It's painful trying not to cream the front end, but I'm sure it's very entertaining to watch. The Corvette is leaving tomorrow to sit at Corvette Mikes in Burr Ridge on consignment. The Audi needs the garage. I can only dust it off so many times a week! Tammy Dobrez taught Madeline how to drive the Audi. Uncle Greg gave her driving tips and she and I have been out a few times for practice. She is doing just fine--like father like daughter.

Tomorrow David turns 18! Wow! I can't believe it! Enjoy the weather. It's fabulous. Keep in touch.
jani

I swear he's with me!

Okay, now I am lovin' the Audi. When I go fast, in and out of traffic, It's almost as if I can hear him say "Yeah baby," until I put it in the wrong gear. And the killer, I found myself twice this week reading his Hot Rod and Corvette magazines to see what compares with "my" cars! The madness has to stop. Where's my Art News Magazine!

Kurt's Cars

Well, it's August 8th. I have been working at my job at SPM Marketing & Communications in La Grange for the past couple weeks (I job share), and I am happy to be back with all those smiling faces, laughter and the advertising craziness. My job-sharing partner, Emily has been a saint for the past 9 months covering for me while Kurt was ill. Emily, you are one of my pillars, thank you.

You are all probably wondering what I am doing with Kurt's cars. Well...for months I was swearing up and down about the Audi S5 since it is manual. I have nearly taken out light posts in La Grange and Hinsdale, thinking I was in reverse when in fact I was in first gear. I have stalled it in the middle of intersections, people thinking I am trying to be all cool when in fact, I am never really sure of what I am doing. I have electronic equipment in there that I don't have a clue how it works, for example, opening the sun roof and controlling the wind shield wipers. I fumble around in the dark at night because I don't know how to turn the dome light on permanently. I find it difficult driving and blindly pressing buttons to get the air conditioning down while it blasts in my face. My favorite, new blue jeans have a back pocket button that catches every time I sit down--not good.

So guess what? I'm keeping it for now. The car is beautiful. And, yes it is fast and very fun. I am getting the hang of it, and I can beat the best of any Mercedes and Corvette in the neighborhood! Kurt would be proud! I have been dealer to dealer thinking about a trade in--Honda CRV, Toyota Rave (I'm sure Kurt was looking down from heaven, saying "tell me she's NOT in a Honda dealer.") then the Ford Escape. The last guy said, "I'm not sure if this car will move on this lot, but I'll see what we can do." YEAH RIGHT.

Now you are probably asking, "What about the Stingray?" "She" is still taking up space in the garage with a lovely car cover on it. It is a beautiful car. Too bad I can't put in on my mantle. I have to talk to my gear head friends for advice about increased value--unless that baby increases in value more than $90/month (which is storage and which I doubt), she is probably going on the market. I have to say, if it was the red GS, I would have kept it forever. I loved that car. Kurt loved his cars too. If he rubbed me as much as he rubbed his cars, I would've been one VERY happy camper.

On a final note, I didn't realize my new roles in life were going to be a car dealer, hunting/fishing gear store and camping equipment rental. Life is always interesting. I am learning a lot!

Still bloggin'

It's July 28th and I just picked David up from the airport. He was touring France for three weeks with a French emersion (classes for French) "camp" of 18 students. Needless to say he had a wonderful trip and wants to live in Nice! Madeline has been in Michigan for two weeks at the YMCA camp. Davey and I will pick her up this weekend. AND Jani went to Camp Colorado for five days to visit Kristin (and Rob), Kurt's sissy. We attended the Mile High Music Festival for two days, totalling about 20 hours of music. I had a blast the moment I set foot in Denver to the second I left, then continued to celebrate in Chicago with high school gal friends, neighbors and slept til noon on Sunday. Started back to work yesterday which is quite difficult since I have been up 'til 2-3am every night. Good thing birthdays only come once a year. Thank you friends!

We of course are missing Kurt, and the whole thing is very surreal. I try to think of something funny when I am sad. Last week we were talking about how "quick" he was. He'd practically run when he mowed the lawn and when the kids were in the stroller and we would go to the zoo, he would race past the animals. I would say, "Hurry kids, look at the polar bears, no back there."

I can see him right now repeating the lines from Legally Blond, with his hands on his hips saying " Don't tap your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey." I know he had a crush on Reese Witherspoon!

I had the fortunate experience of picking up three warm, dead bunnies in my yard that my dog decided to chew on and shake to death. Kurt would have been proud. He loved it when she'd try to catch one in the yard, both having that hunter instinct!

TTFN, enjoy the rest of the summer, jani

Reflections

Kurt's death is still unbelievable to me--as many times as I saw him hit the pavement or smash a car, I never expected him to suffer with cancer. The kids and I have talked of peace, and glad that he isn't suffering. It's weird thinking that he will never walk through that door. When I look at pictures of him all "sturdy" and vibrant, that wasn't the Kurt I saw in the hospital that last month. He wasn't the Kurt he wanted to be, especially when he had to drink Ensure versus a "Diet Beverage made by Anheuser Busch," as he referred to when the nurse asked him what he wanted to drink with his meds. Always a smart ass til the end.

God bless all of you for your thoughts and prayers and love. Every conversation has been a positive force. Every word has given us strength. The financial support is overwhelming for our family. And you raised over $6,000 for Leukemia Research at U of C. Thank you. Thank you.

Last week I ran into a friend. He truly opened my eyes once again during this past month. He reflected on the photos of Kurt's life and how it reminded him of his life. It opened his eyes to what he has and what he has done. Another friend who has struggled financially and physically on and off in his life talked to me for hours about how watching Kurt suffer has made him appreciate his health and his family.

Years ago when Salomon was laying people off and "having issues," I remember talking to Kurt. I begged him not to worry about losing his job. I said, "We will be fine and do what we have to do. If you were a billionnaire and was dying of cancer, it's not going to change a thing. As long as we have our health and family, we will work it out." And I know, it's hard when you are told "You are going to be the provider." Friends, just please remember, you provide love and mental and/or parental support which are priceless. Take care.

Oh this is going to be another chapter in my book!

Well....the past couple weeks have been weird. Very weird. All and all the kids and I are doing okay. Good minutes/bad minutes. Maddy asked me, "So when are you going to clear out Dad's closet?" I said, "Whenever you're ready." She replied, "You know how I feel about a clean closet, I don't have emotional attachments to his khakis." And khakis Kurt had--approx. 32 pairs. Can we talk shorts--15 tan or khaki. And yes, there were other colors. I stopped counting! We have enough camoflauge to dress the troops in Iraq, camo flashlights, camo chairs, camo pants, camo boots, camo underwear, camo hats, camo fleece, camo canvas...I am sure I am missing something. I didn't realize how much equipment we had to kill small animals!

Kurt and Michael Jackson

Does anyone think that it's funny that Kurt and Michael Jackson are in heaven together?!? That vision makes me laugh.

To All of Kurt's Friends

I'm on a blog role...but I just wanted to share my Deepest of Sympathy to all of Kurt's friends. Last week when the 1500+ people paid their respects to us, flying and driving in from around the country, I was in absolute shock. Kurt touched so many peoples' lives. He was friends with some of you for over 30-40 years whether it was from Homewood/Flossmoor OR 24 years +10 months (as I was informed by the HR dept.) at Salomon, Smith Barney, Travelers, Citi (did I name them all!). Some of you stood shoulder to shoulder with Kurt for 8+ hours a day for years, like brothers.

It breaks my heart to think about losing any of my friends, each and everyone of them are special in their own way, whether it's laughter, support, strength or fun. My heart is heavy for all of you, knowing you lost such a silly, goofy, smiley, grumpy, shakey, hard working, helpful, life-loving, dedicated friend--Kurt. I am so, so sorry. My friends are my pillars, I know you were his.

Thank you for loving him. He loved all of you too as you can read by his old posts. Thank you for your love and support for me and the children. The outpour of friends from all directions will keep us strong. And when we aren't strong, we know where to turn because friends are God's gifts.
xoxo

Happy Father's Day

Wishing all the Dads out there a good day whether it's laying on the sofa watching a car race or baseball game or out on the golf course. Kurt would have preferred the first choice! Tonight we are going to Morton's Steakhouse in honor of Kurt. He loved steak--in fact when I was pregnant with David, he referred to him as "Steak Bodell." Madeline on the other hand was labeled "Petit Filet." Every birthday we would ask the kids "Where would you like to go to dinner for your birthday? It would range from McDonald's to Old Country Buffet until one fine day, one of the kids announced (not sure who to give credit for here...) "Mortons." Kurt almost hit the ceiling in excitement. I remember when Madeline was about three, she started inhaling steak. She had a twinkle in her eyes just like her dad. She loved it. He was so proud!

Have a great day!

I will continue to post

Hi everyone, a friend asked me to keep posting to keep you updated on the Bodells. Since writing is one of my outlets, I will continue this blog on and off for the next few weeks--lots to say, lots to thank, lots to share. Once again, I'm going to bed at 2 a.m., I'm not Jewish, but I think I've been sitting Sheeva (did I spell that right?) with Kurt's high school buddies for the past four nights. Time to detox! A few hours ago, John Fanning, a dear high school friend of Kurt's graciously said to me, "Jani, thank you for putting up with us this weekend." I quickly replied, "You mean thank you for putting up with you the past 25 years!" Thank you HF guys for giving Kurt so much laughter and love for the past 35+ years. xoxo

Our friend is in Heaven

Kurt passed away Wednesday, June 10th at 9 a.m. Even though I knew he was weaker this time around and lost a lot of weight, I didn't think he'd leave us this soon, especially since there was a complete turn around since my last post.

On Tuesday evening, I walked into his hospital room, He was sitting up in bed, watching hockey, eating ice chips (to prevent mouth sores from chemo) and was really upbeat. His voice was 100% normal. He was alert and able to hold a good conversation. He had eaten a lot that day and was full. He read mail (with his reading glasses which was very weird--first time in 10 years), we talked, laughed, I helped him wash up, he wanted clean clothes, he helped me with facebook scrabble, we sat in his bed and watch the Jimmy Falon show which he remarked, "This show is really stupid. Why are we watching this?" It was the best I had seen him in two weeks. I was thrilled, I thought that this was a great way to go into the whole stem cell transplant.

We talked about how proud he was of the kids and how much potential they have. He mentioned that he wanted to tell them, but didn't want to seem morbid.

Around midnight the nurse kept coming in to check his blood pressure. It was dropping. She had a couple doctors come in, they tried hydrating, but that didn't bring it up. So they took him to the ICU around 6:20 a.m. The doctors talked to us and started hooking him up to things. The doctor asked him, if something happens to you, Kurt, would you like to be resuscitated, he responded, "whatever you'd like to do." (so easy going!). Then he started to gasp for air. I asked the doctor if I should get family to the hospital. She said yes as soon as possible. So I called his parents and my brother to pick up the kids and eventually Ray Walton came by to be with me.

They gave him an oxygen mask which wasn't working. They had to put a tube down to his lungs, so they asked me to leave the room. Next thing you know it, they are called "Dr. Cart, room 602"--that isn't something you want to hear, that means someone is dying. That was kurt's room. So ran around the corner and they were frantically working on him. I felt like I was watching a live ER episode. It was aweful. I thought, God please don't take him the kids aren't here. So I started yelling over the doctors working on him "Kurt you can't leave us yet, the kids are coming, please don't leave, etc." A champlan stood bye me and prayed. He said, "Look, he's back." The doctor walked up and said, "he's with us." During all this I called Kurt's brother, Greg and scared the daylights out of him. Sorry Greg. Hysteria isn't one of my strong points!

I talked to the doctor about his status, he was in a bad place. They agreed to keep the meds going to elevate his heart rate, but they didn't know how long his body could take it. Thank you Ray for standing by my side. So I called his brother, the kids, his parents and Tammy and John and held the phone to his ears so they could talk to him just incase he passed. Technology at its best. I knew Kurt could hear us. He reached out to Ray and I. He was holding on. Ray and I held his hands and rubbed his head, repeating "the kids are on their way, please don't go to heaven yet; Kurt, 10 more minutes and they will be here. Kurt, sorry, it'll be 20 more minutes." I thought, he is probably really pissed. I kept reminding him that it was morning rush hour traffic and eveyone was stuck in it. We prayed over him, the champlan sang to him. I told him to talk to God and ask for forgiveness and pray to go to heaven AFTER the kids arrive!

Everyone made it! They got to talk to Kurt, kiss him, love him and be with him. I told Kurt that I was going to tell the kids right there with him about what he and I had talked about the night before--about how proud he was of them, etc. I was so happy to have shared that with them with Maddy and David by his side. He passed minutes after that.

Kurt will be missed by so many. He's with his dad right now, I'm sure. His father, David died when Kurt was eight, so imagine they are catching up, driving in fast heaven cars and eating tons of steak. Maybe my grandmas is cooking them spaghetti and gravy.

Kurt will be waked at Hallowell and James (55th St. in Countryside) from 3-9 on Friday, June 12th. We will have a memorial mass at Emmanuel Episcopal Church at 1:00 on Saturday, June 13th (Kensington Road, La Grange). (Sorry it's 2 a.m. and I'm too lazy to look up the addresses.)

Thank you everyone for your love, support and encouragement. Kurt's at peace now, I hope all of us (you too) will be too.

latest - tuesday

This will be short (I doubt it)...Kurt is finishing up chemo tomorrow. He will receive the stem cells on Thursday morning. They took his feeding tube out which really irritates Nurse Betty since he won't get as much nutrition eating on his own versus the drip. I had some words with the doctors. When I'm on the news in handcuffs, you'll know why. They remarked, "oh, we can always put it back in.." Yeah, that's easy to do when someone doesn't have an immune system and could bleed to death. (Am I being sarcastic?) Thank God Carol White (the nurse practitioner was standing by and overheard the conversation and said, "Jani's right."--shocking no one ever listens to me!) I told them that I would like to make the health decisions since Kurt is heavily medicated and as Kurt has remarked, "I have chemo brain." Sorry, Kurt. Remember, I am the drill sergeant and cheerleader. Don't make me bring a whip and Pom Pons! LOL. This would be a problem at U of C with rotating doctor staffs--not all the information gets passed on from one group to the next.

Happy to report as of one minute ago, Kurt actually drank via mouth some Ensure last night and this morning. This is great since two weeks ago he remarked, "I'm not drinking that ----!" Also, if you visit Kurt, please bring a milkshake, we have a protein powder in the room that can be mixed in the milkshake.

All I can say is thank heavens for my zoloft!

Keep the faith, jani

Saturday, June 6th

Boy oh boy the pressure to get a post on here...I didn't realize the morning popularity! Kurt started chemo on Thursday evening to get ready for the stem cell transplant set for next week. The staff decided that getting new cells in him as soon as possible was the best situation versus waiting and risking more viruses or complications.

Since the last post Kurt has started eating fruit cups, watermelon, Popsicles, and jello. They continue to use the feeling tube to give him nutrients. He has adjusted quite nicely to that strange apparatus. When he first got it, it was taped to the top of his head, so he was bobbing it up and down, having his head do a dance--always entertaining!

He hasn't had a fever in several days which is terrific. His positive attitude is back, and he is ready to move forward. As always we appreciate the love, support and prayers. xoxo

Post from Flo

Kurt apologizes for not posting, but he said he doesn't have anything to add....however, I do! This past week has been challenging for Kurt. He hasn't been able to eat/swallow due to fever, a virus and a throat issue. So they recommended a feeding tube to which he agreed since he really hasn't had a meal in 5-6 days. The feeding tube is working fine and also helps with his heart meds--dealing with high blood pressure/fast heart. The doctors want him to get stronger for the stem cell transplant--If all goes well the rest of the week, they will start chemo and some other meds on Friday to prep for the transplant. Wednesday morning he will have a new hickman line put in since "they" broke the other one.

Thanks to all for love, support, laughter, patience, visits, food and more food, gift cards, driving my kids, coffee, hugs and kisses (can't get enough of those!).

Fondly, Florence Niten Gale

The latest - from Nurse Betty

Just an fyi Kurt isn't up for blogging so I will do my best to keep you informed. Friday he finished first round of chemo to get ready for the stem cell transplant. Currently he is getting platelets to get ready for a routine lumbar puncture. The next few days he will be monitored with antibiotics and antifungal to treat two viruses.

Next week they will start another round of different chemos for the transplant. The stem cell transplant has been moved to June 6th not June 3rd. They wanted a couple more days for his bone marrow to be completely empty for the new cells.

Coach Quenville called Kurt last week which was a thrill. He asked Kurt if there was anything he could do for him, and Kurt replied, bring home the Stanley Cup. Kurt was happy to see John Scannell who was in from Texas (along with Don Dieter). Kurt still has his sense of humor on top of his "loopiness" (I don't think that's in Websters.) He had Tammy and I laughing pretty hard about the musical CATS and how last year he should have been drinking while watching older adults prance around in nylon and spandex. He occasionally likes to (escape) unhook his tubes and walk to the local restaurants.

Kurt's still optimistic and plans to fight this battle. We're right behind him!

5/20

what a differencs a 6 months maks.

Jani removed this photo. Let's not remember Kurt that way==I will find a good one!


it's offcal
I guess it's, like if you catch your drive off the tee, you get a free reload.
anyway, start chemo today. 2 different drugs, 4 hours each.
break tomorrow
back t0 the 2x4 regimin friday.
at which point, we'll have alot of alrternatives.
my 3rd birthday is coming up. june, 3 2009
wonder what to to do the january 21st one?

Revised News - post from Jani

Good news, but revised...Kurt's stem cell transplant will take place on June 3rd. Today is when they received information from the worldwide donor bank. He had routine tests (heart, pulmonary, spinal tap) today to get prepared for the week of chemotherapy, then he will have a week for his counts to go down (killing all the white and red bloods cells) so the new, healthy baby cells (stem cells) can produce new, clean blood. Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming!

5/16 transplant starts monday

great great great news. chemo monday, transplant a week from monday. beer on labor day! love you all

5/11

everything's going well. white blood counts are way down. waiting for the donor. love ya

Saturday, May 9th-Back in the Hospital

Yesterday I kind of hit a rut in the road. After seeing the doctor every day this week and getting my blood drawn/counts, she felt it necessary to have daily draws over the weekend. So yesterday they started the procedures to check me in which didn't happen until the phone rang at 12:25am! We arrived at 10:00 today-- symptoms, aches, headaches, fatigue, high fever, cough, adverse affects from the oral chemo.

So here I am again for at least another week. We are patiently waiting for the donor to step forward. KEEP PRAYING, LOVE YOU ALL.

5/7

saw the dr. today. the drugs seem to lowering my white blood counts. which is good. they doubled one of the medications. let's keep hoping.

5/6

saw the dr. today. same old, same old. waiting for the donor.

5/4

saw the dr. today. it looks like the flt3 inhibitor is working. back on wed.

5/3

enjoyed my weekend at home. feeling pretty good. back to the dr. tomorrow.

4/30

saw the dr. today, finally got the flt3 inhibitor. took a long time to cut all the red tape. hopefully it will control my abnormal cell growth. i've got the weekend off, back to u of c monday. love you all.

4/27

saw the doc today. sounds like they found another donor. on his schedule now. could check in tomorrow, could be 3-4 weeks. i'll let you know.

4/24

back to u of c for a blood draw. counts are looking. back to the dr. monday. have a great weekend.

4/22

back to the dr. today. counts are all good. all is proceeding as expected. back again friday.

4/20

saw the doc today. status quo. we're back to searching the marrow bank for a donor. probably back for consolidation and transplant in 3-4 weeks.

4/18

home again. hopefully for a couple of weeks. i'll let you know

my new tv

4/17

a glimmer of hope. it appears i might be headed home tomorrow. yeehah. i am really excited because i will get to see david's show and celebrate maddy's bday at home. i've got john running all around looking for the 52" tv that was given by so many. hope to be watching it tomorrow from my couch. thanks everyone. love you.

4/15 150th post!

feeling good, just scratching the wall. had a very special visitor yesterday. the head coach of the chicago blackhawks, joel quenneville. it pays to know the right people.

go hawks

4/14

no new news. feeling pretty good. can't wait for parole.

4/12

happy easter! thank you to everyone who participated in the weekend activities. thank you for the gifts and the cards. it's great to feel so loved. i feel good, and am looking forward to parole.
be sure to watch the photo montage posted on 4/9. click the play button under the square.

4/11

good morning all. not feeling quite as chipper today, didn't sleep as well i guess,. i think they upped my flush rate, so i was up every 2 hours going to the bathroom. white count is down to .02, so close to bottoming. look forward to another day of friendly and family faces. love all.

4/10

i hope that everyone has a very blessed and happy good friday. i'm getting a early start to a another very big day. lots of visitors. i feel very good right now, but then i started yesterday very strong as well. kind of wore down into the eveving. it's great to see everyone and to psuedo celebrate my bday. you take what you are given. once again love and faith to all. kurt

i see my life come shining
from the west down to the east
anyday now, anyday now
i shall be released

a very special treat from alot of people Compiled by tammy

4/9

big day yesterday with lots of visitors, and a another big day today. feeling really good. can't believe i have to lay here for 3 more weeks. at least i have the masters this weekend, and the hawks through june.

i shaved

4/8

well the big day is finally at hand (not THAT big day), my 50th birthday. wo wooda thunk. as many times as my cue ball's been on the poolroom floor, it always came back to make the next shot. some people say reaching 50 is only halfway. but the way i treated this body , i never intended it last as long as the 18,21, 25,29...or what ever number years people were amazed i'd ever achieve. so it's all downhill from here. and who's to saying going downhill isn't a lot more fun than going uphill anyway!

i want to sincerely thank all the followers of the blog for their constant support and encouragement, the people who have prayed for me my family, and the number of people who stepped forth to help jani, david, maddy, and myself with everything they have needed through this trying time. love kurt

4/7

sorry no posts yesterday, but i never had the energy. similar today, don't too much pep.
if anytning big happens, i'll keep you in touch.

4/4

feeling good after 2 rounds of chemo, so far no side effects.
been down this road before, not nearly as intimidated with what lies ahead. love you all.

we will get by
we will get by
we will get byyyy
we will survive

go hawks!

4/3

had an echo cardiogram this morning, and they also inserted another infusion line. starting chemo this afternoon. probably feeling crummy the next couple of days. here we go again.

4/2

had the bone marrow today, results next week. but my blast cell count has increased significantly. the count was 7% on monday, 20% today. because aml is so prolific, they checked me in. looking at another 4 week stay at chez u of c. back to square 1.

3/31

got a call from the oncologist today. a small piece of bad news. after a closer look the blood draw from monday, they discovered blast cells ( immature leukemia cells) in my blood. they scheduled a bone marrow biopsy for thursday. we'll know more then.

3/30

saw the oncolgist today, right on track. everything going as planned. get a bone marrow biopsy
at the end of the month, and go from there.


"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, cigar in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming 'WOW -- What a ride!'

3/25

the family

3/20

saw the dr. yesterday. everything is going as expected. they removed my infusion port, which is another step down the road. i get to take a real shower for the first time in several months. yeehah. we're going to captiva sunday for spring break, i've been cleared to have "a couple of beers", but also told to avoid as much sun as i can. should be easy in fla. sun exposure triggers graft vs. host disease, which i definitely don't want. the next milestone is a 100 day bone marrow biopsy toward the end of april. i'm happy spring is finally here, enjoy.

3/12

saw the dr. today. no new news. right on track. everything is going as well as can be expected. lowered another dosage. hopefully we'll keep eliminating meds. that's it. love ya

3/5

saw the oncologist today. we're still right on track. reduced another dosage, so slowly being weaning from the meds. feeling good. 65 degrees today, shouldn't be too long before i get the vette out of storage. yeehah. love ya.

3/2

saw the cardiologist today. he said my the results of my echo cardiogram showed that my heart is as healthy as it was prior to the chemo/transplant treatments. another piece of great news. he lowered the dosage of one of my medicines, which he said should help with my fatigue. all in all, a great visit. next appt. in 3 months. now it's back for my weekly visit with the oncologist on thursday. just continuing to build my strength and stamina. i'll post again after my thursday appointment. thanks to all.

2/26

sorry it's been so long. but not much has been happening. i went to the oncologist today and got the results from my bone marrow of last week. the results were great, no sign of any leukemia cells in my marrow. all my counts are doing very well. my progress is going exactly as expected. so i am basically going to the hospital twice a week now. hopefully soon to be once a week. i see my cardiologist on monday, but so far all really good news. i'll post again monday afternoon with the results of my echo.

2/13

went to u of c yesterday and received 2 bags of hemoglobin. definitely helped with my strength. i have my bone marrow biopsy next wednesday and the results a couple of days after that. that's the next big day. keep praying. love kurt

Movin' On Up

Hi, Kurt's eating more, and we went for a walk outside today--trying to build up his strength.  Looking forward to warmer weather!  He's not thrilled with taking 20+ meds a day, but he's happy to be home.  He can have healthy visitors!  xxoo jani

More bloggin' from Nurse Betty

How can he say he's not bloggin' 'til the 22nd. I'll try to keep this going since the last time he "stopped blogging" no one was checking,  he was back at Chez UofC, and no one knew!

Kurt's home, tired, running back and forth for blood draws, gaining strength everyday. He plans on buying a pair of new, "hot" designer jeans at Hammer Boutique for his new, slim, body to add to his new jeans from the Dobrez family. Thanks Tammy. His hair is growing back (looking a bit grey!)

He has also found a new way to track me down in the house by calling the house phone from his cell phone. "Can you please make me a chocolate milk shake?"

That's it for now! -jani

2/3

taking a break from blogging until my 30 day bone marrow around 2/22. i'll let you know. love you all and thank you all.

2/1

finally reached a huge milepost in my recovery. ideally, i will never need chemo again. keeping the faith. back to my job of commuting to u of c for blood draws. i will be there 4 days this week. the next important appt. will be the 30 day bone marrow test at the end of the month. once again, thank you to all the prayers and thoughts that have and will continue follow me. my love to all.

1/31

I'M HOME. got an early parole! get to sleep in my own bed tonight. yeehah.

1/31

if you can believe all the rumors and innuendos


tonight's the last night under lock down!
i've been by told several sources,
i'll be home for the superbowl!not quite the same ring. oh, well.

very exciting news. all of my counts are gaining very rapidly.
i obviously had a very healthy donor and their cells are growing at prestigious rates. (like the big word?) in the most optimistic world, i will never have to be admitted again for medical treatment of aml. all of my treatment from now on will be out patient! hallelujah! thanks to every one's thoughts and prayers, we couldn't have done it without you.




crawling from the wreckage
crawling from the wreckage
youd think by now at least that
half my brain would get the message
crawling from the wreckage
crawling from the wreckage
into a brand new car

1/30

i am definitely feeling better. all of my counts now appear very good.now comes the my opportunity to see how long it takes me to drive them over the edge. ha hah ha!

From the Observation Deck

I'm glad to say that by noon today, I saw a bit of the old Kurt--lying to the doctor about how he went for a walk, making obscene gestures behind Bruce's (the nurse) back, making faces at me when I asked him to drink more water and eat more sandwich, b---hing about the workman arriving a 10 days late to fix the heat. That's the Kurt we know and love.

His white blood cell count was up today so that's good news--they are going up!  That's it for now.  -jani

honestly feeling better, jani says i'm crabby. obviously a step in he right direction

1/28

You know the day destroys the night
night divides the day
tried to run
tried to hide
break on through to the other side
break on through to the other side
break on through to the other side yeah

sorry i haven't been posting been a rough couple of day

He's the same

Let's just call him Sleeping Beauty with a 10 o'clock shadow. The doctors said that days 7-10 are the worst. Today is day 7. As horrible as he feels, I am proud to say that he said to the doctor, "I'll get through this, just a few more days." That's great--he needs those positive thoughts in his head and body! Who is this guy???!!!
xxoo jani

1.27.09 - post from Florence Nightngale

Fact for the day: the stem cells are setting up shop in Kurt's bone marrow--that takes approximately 12+ days, for some people, shorter time; for others, longer. After that they hope his blood count will go up to get back to normal. Kurt wasn't normal to begin with! (joke). They have him on an anti rejection medicine so his body accepts the stems cells.

For those who've asked me about his heart, I asked the oncologist to contact the U of C cardiologist to make sure Kurt's ticker his okay. Everyone seems to be concerned about the stem cells, forgetting about the incident in Nov. We don't need another surprise or set back.

Yesterday Kurt went for a walk, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner. One of the other patients referred to walking like the polar bears in the zoo, pacing back and forth, back and forth, up and down the hall way. Makes you appreciate the North Pole, I mean Chicago.

Today Kurt has been sleeping--nasty headache and nausea--part of this bad rollercoaster ride. I'm sure he just wants to get off.

That's it for now. Bon jour mi amigos.
-jani

1/26

must be feeling better. woke up at 8 with an agenda. (however small) shower, new linens and some breakfast. for you that haven't been following. these are good steps. let's hope i feel this way later today.

1/25

feeling ok. just very tired. thanks for the patience. love you

Please call first-post from jani

My apologies, doctors orders that Kurt needs to rest since he's been chit chattin' too much! Shocking, I know! I still think smiling faces and friends are a dose of good medicine. Kurt loves you all. So please call his cell before you come to see if he's up for a visit. If he doesn't answer, he's probably sleeping. Hopefully by the end of the week, he'll be feeling better and ready to watch more Blackhawks and violent movies. oxox jani

1/24

still feeling kinda blue. not sleepy very well, constant queasiness and headaches. drs. say this is to be expected. hope it passes soon.

1/23

my brother greg is in from l.a. it's great to see him. health wise, just killing time as my counts recover. could be a long couple of weeks.

Visitors Welcome!

Yes, Pete, healthy visitors are welcome.  Kurt is not under quarantine.  He'll be there for another 12-15 days so new faces are a must--I'm sure he's tired of mine!  xxoo Thanks for all your support.

jani

1/22

received stem cells last night around 10 p. sounds like everything went as well as possible. only real symptom this morning is a decent headache. otherwise feeling pretty good. all great news. i'll probably post later when i have more info.


i've been overhauled!

1/21

another day, another dollar. wondering what today is going to cost. the stem cells are to be picked up by a courier, and flown to chicago. they will be quickly processed and given to me
by iv at 10 pm. the infusion takes anywhere from 15 min. to 1 hr., supposedly i'll be sleeping.
probably a long day of waiting and being prepped. i'm definitely ready. once again thanks for the thoughts and prayers. love you all.

11/20 day 0

today is my so called rest day. day 0. i received my last chemo treatment yesterday. yee-hah. i get my transplant tomorrow evening. the predictions of my possible symptoms are all over the map. i heard everything from slight flu-like symptoms to maybe the worst i've had so far. everybody is different. you all know i'm not very philosophical, but supposedly this is a new birthday for me. reborn? i thought the world was dangerous enough with one of me. that's scary. having a very hard time wrapping my head around that one. my immune system is completely immature. diseases i had or was immunized for earlier in my life, i am totally vulnerable to. they have a detailed regime to slowly take care of this, but things like chicken pox, mumps, measles, etc. i have no immunity to. but finally, i think i'm on the last leg of this journey! wish me luck, and once again, thank you to every one's commitment to me and my family.

before after

1/19

feeling good. almost done with the last rounds of chemo, and then the real fun begins. hope everyone is staying warm. keep the faith.

1/18

slept better last night. i just do lights out around 8:00p, so i know i'll get 3 1/2 hours of undisturbed peace. after that is hourly rousts. it may only be an anomaly, but i was 173 this morning. i guess you safe for now bro.

1/17

doing okay. not getting a lot of sleep, at night at least. for some reason they start my treatments at 12 a.m. with hydration, 1 a.m. with premeds, and then 5 hours of chemo at 2. am. at 8 am i get another round of premeds, and at 9 a.m. i get 90 minutes of a second chemo.

party all night, sleep all day.

11/15

continuing to feel better. ate some soup this afternoon. first food since lunch tuesday. greg i'm gunning for 167. lookout. keep the prayer's coming. hope to see you all soon.

1/15 100 days since diagnosis...

sure feels longer. checked in again tuesday, looking at 30 days. that newcastle brown can sure get you down. sorry i didn't post yesterday, but i was feeling very blue. slightly better today. love you all, i can see a faint glimpse at the tunnel. let's hope it's not a train.

Post from Jani

Hi Friends,

Yesterday was a very long day waiting for his Hickman line to be reinstalled in his chest.  We finally got to his room around 3:30 to be greeted by numerous nurses and female doctors!  He's a celebrity.  They started chemo this morning.

Kurt can have visitors.  The whole isolation thing doesn't exist.  They use to do that a few years ago.  If you would like to visit him, please call his cell first and just make sure you don't have a cold/illness.  He is on the same floor, larger room!  I think a drop cloth, canvases and paint are going to  fit nicely!

Happy New Year, jani

1/13

on my way...hopefully the the last leg of the journey. see you in a month.

we are very lucky to have neighbors who truly are there to help us.

once again, thank you to a very special neighbor, snow blowing our driveway at 5:00 am.

love you all.

1/12

last day of freedom. need to run a couple of errands and pack. wish it was sunny.

1/11

going to morton's for dinner tonight. a last meal before my incarceration.

shrimp alexander
strip medium rare
hash browns
chocolate volcano cake

1/10

just another perfect day. i love l.a....grange

1/9

t-12 until transplant. definitely ready to move forward. love ya.

1/8

a lot to do today. off to u of c. blood draw at 10, ct scan of my chest/ lungs at 11:30, bone marrow biopsy at 1, meet with oncologist at 1:30. i should have a definite treatment schedule today. as it stands, i am being admitted tuesday for my transplant. hopefully the last leg of this journey. continue to wish me luck. thanks.


thirty days in the hole
that's what they give you
i know

What you doin' boy?
You here for 30 days
Get, get, get your long hair cut
And cut out your ways

1/7

another beautiful day in chicago. enjoy.

1/6

looks like i'm starting a couple of days early. probably being admitted the 13th. the sooner we start, the sooner i'll be done. find out for sure thursday.

1/5

feeling good. going for a walk. see ya.

Visitors Welcome!

Okay, Kurt has less than two weeks in La Grange before he heads to Chez U of C, please feel free to stop by and visit him, go for a walk around the block, go to the zoo, etc. etc.  His immune system is "up" so he can have visitors!  I'll be at work so I'll need someone to keep an eye on him!  Thanks!

Happy New Year, jani

1/4

feel good happy new year

1/3

t -12. i am starting to see the brick wall ahead. trying to enjoy my last 12 days before my next incarceration. wish i had a time machine.

1/2

went to u of c this morning and had blood drawn. my counts looks good. feeling good louis.

1/1

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! celebrated a very close friend's 50th birthday yesterday. hard to believe, but we are getting really old. as it stands now, i go back for treatment on jan. 15th and hope to be home by the drop of the green at daytona. i really look forward to a great 2009. thank you to everyone for all their love and support. happy new year to all.


go hawks!