Reflections

Kurt's death is still unbelievable to me--as many times as I saw him hit the pavement or smash a car, I never expected him to suffer with cancer. The kids and I have talked of peace, and glad that he isn't suffering. It's weird thinking that he will never walk through that door. When I look at pictures of him all "sturdy" and vibrant, that wasn't the Kurt I saw in the hospital that last month. He wasn't the Kurt he wanted to be, especially when he had to drink Ensure versus a "Diet Beverage made by Anheuser Busch," as he referred to when the nurse asked him what he wanted to drink with his meds. Always a smart ass til the end.

God bless all of you for your thoughts and prayers and love. Every conversation has been a positive force. Every word has given us strength. The financial support is overwhelming for our family. And you raised over $6,000 for Leukemia Research at U of C. Thank you. Thank you.

Last week I ran into a friend. He truly opened my eyes once again during this past month. He reflected on the photos of Kurt's life and how it reminded him of his life. It opened his eyes to what he has and what he has done. Another friend who has struggled financially and physically on and off in his life talked to me for hours about how watching Kurt suffer has made him appreciate his health and his family.

Years ago when Salomon was laying people off and "having issues," I remember talking to Kurt. I begged him not to worry about losing his job. I said, "We will be fine and do what we have to do. If you were a billionnaire and was dying of cancer, it's not going to change a thing. As long as we have our health and family, we will work it out." And I know, it's hard when you are told "You are going to be the provider." Friends, just please remember, you provide love and mental and/or parental support which are priceless. Take care.