Still bloggin'

It's July 28th and I just picked David up from the airport. He was touring France for three weeks with a French emersion (classes for French) "camp" of 18 students. Needless to say he had a wonderful trip and wants to live in Nice! Madeline has been in Michigan for two weeks at the YMCA camp. Davey and I will pick her up this weekend. AND Jani went to Camp Colorado for five days to visit Kristin (and Rob), Kurt's sissy. We attended the Mile High Music Festival for two days, totalling about 20 hours of music. I had a blast the moment I set foot in Denver to the second I left, then continued to celebrate in Chicago with high school gal friends, neighbors and slept til noon on Sunday. Started back to work yesterday which is quite difficult since I have been up 'til 2-3am every night. Good thing birthdays only come once a year. Thank you friends!

We of course are missing Kurt, and the whole thing is very surreal. I try to think of something funny when I am sad. Last week we were talking about how "quick" he was. He'd practically run when he mowed the lawn and when the kids were in the stroller and we would go to the zoo, he would race past the animals. I would say, "Hurry kids, look at the polar bears, no back there."

I can see him right now repeating the lines from Legally Blond, with his hands on his hips saying " Don't tap your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey." I know he had a crush on Reese Witherspoon!

I had the fortunate experience of picking up three warm, dead bunnies in my yard that my dog decided to chew on and shake to death. Kurt would have been proud. He loved it when she'd try to catch one in the yard, both having that hunter instinct!

TTFN, enjoy the rest of the summer, jani

Reflections

Kurt's death is still unbelievable to me--as many times as I saw him hit the pavement or smash a car, I never expected him to suffer with cancer. The kids and I have talked of peace, and glad that he isn't suffering. It's weird thinking that he will never walk through that door. When I look at pictures of him all "sturdy" and vibrant, that wasn't the Kurt I saw in the hospital that last month. He wasn't the Kurt he wanted to be, especially when he had to drink Ensure versus a "Diet Beverage made by Anheuser Busch," as he referred to when the nurse asked him what he wanted to drink with his meds. Always a smart ass til the end.

God bless all of you for your thoughts and prayers and love. Every conversation has been a positive force. Every word has given us strength. The financial support is overwhelming for our family. And you raised over $6,000 for Leukemia Research at U of C. Thank you. Thank you.

Last week I ran into a friend. He truly opened my eyes once again during this past month. He reflected on the photos of Kurt's life and how it reminded him of his life. It opened his eyes to what he has and what he has done. Another friend who has struggled financially and physically on and off in his life talked to me for hours about how watching Kurt suffer has made him appreciate his health and his family.

Years ago when Salomon was laying people off and "having issues," I remember talking to Kurt. I begged him not to worry about losing his job. I said, "We will be fine and do what we have to do. If you were a billionnaire and was dying of cancer, it's not going to change a thing. As long as we have our health and family, we will work it out." And I know, it's hard when you are told "You are going to be the provider." Friends, just please remember, you provide love and mental and/or parental support which are priceless. Take care.

Oh this is going to be another chapter in my book!

Well....the past couple weeks have been weird. Very weird. All and all the kids and I are doing okay. Good minutes/bad minutes. Maddy asked me, "So when are you going to clear out Dad's closet?" I said, "Whenever you're ready." She replied, "You know how I feel about a clean closet, I don't have emotional attachments to his khakis." And khakis Kurt had--approx. 32 pairs. Can we talk shorts--15 tan or khaki. And yes, there were other colors. I stopped counting! We have enough camoflauge to dress the troops in Iraq, camo flashlights, camo chairs, camo pants, camo boots, camo underwear, camo hats, camo fleece, camo canvas...I am sure I am missing something. I didn't realize how much equipment we had to kill small animals!

Kurt and Michael Jackson

Does anyone think that it's funny that Kurt and Michael Jackson are in heaven together?!? That vision makes me laugh.

To All of Kurt's Friends

I'm on a blog role...but I just wanted to share my Deepest of Sympathy to all of Kurt's friends. Last week when the 1500+ people paid their respects to us, flying and driving in from around the country, I was in absolute shock. Kurt touched so many peoples' lives. He was friends with some of you for over 30-40 years whether it was from Homewood/Flossmoor OR 24 years +10 months (as I was informed by the HR dept.) at Salomon, Smith Barney, Travelers, Citi (did I name them all!). Some of you stood shoulder to shoulder with Kurt for 8+ hours a day for years, like brothers.

It breaks my heart to think about losing any of my friends, each and everyone of them are special in their own way, whether it's laughter, support, strength or fun. My heart is heavy for all of you, knowing you lost such a silly, goofy, smiley, grumpy, shakey, hard working, helpful, life-loving, dedicated friend--Kurt. I am so, so sorry. My friends are my pillars, I know you were his.

Thank you for loving him. He loved all of you too as you can read by his old posts. Thank you for your love and support for me and the children. The outpour of friends from all directions will keep us strong. And when we aren't strong, we know where to turn because friends are God's gifts.
xoxo

Happy Father's Day

Wishing all the Dads out there a good day whether it's laying on the sofa watching a car race or baseball game or out on the golf course. Kurt would have preferred the first choice! Tonight we are going to Morton's Steakhouse in honor of Kurt. He loved steak--in fact when I was pregnant with David, he referred to him as "Steak Bodell." Madeline on the other hand was labeled "Petit Filet." Every birthday we would ask the kids "Where would you like to go to dinner for your birthday? It would range from McDonald's to Old Country Buffet until one fine day, one of the kids announced (not sure who to give credit for here...) "Mortons." Kurt almost hit the ceiling in excitement. I remember when Madeline was about three, she started inhaling steak. She had a twinkle in her eyes just like her dad. She loved it. He was so proud!

Have a great day!

I will continue to post

Hi everyone, a friend asked me to keep posting to keep you updated on the Bodells. Since writing is one of my outlets, I will continue this blog on and off for the next few weeks--lots to say, lots to thank, lots to share. Once again, I'm going to bed at 2 a.m., I'm not Jewish, but I think I've been sitting Sheeva (did I spell that right?) with Kurt's high school buddies for the past four nights. Time to detox! A few hours ago, John Fanning, a dear high school friend of Kurt's graciously said to me, "Jani, thank you for putting up with us this weekend." I quickly replied, "You mean thank you for putting up with you the past 25 years!" Thank you HF guys for giving Kurt so much laughter and love for the past 35+ years. xoxo