Our friend is in Heaven

Kurt passed away Wednesday, June 10th at 9 a.m. Even though I knew he was weaker this time around and lost a lot of weight, I didn't think he'd leave us this soon, especially since there was a complete turn around since my last post.

On Tuesday evening, I walked into his hospital room, He was sitting up in bed, watching hockey, eating ice chips (to prevent mouth sores from chemo) and was really upbeat. His voice was 100% normal. He was alert and able to hold a good conversation. He had eaten a lot that day and was full. He read mail (with his reading glasses which was very weird--first time in 10 years), we talked, laughed, I helped him wash up, he wanted clean clothes, he helped me with facebook scrabble, we sat in his bed and watch the Jimmy Falon show which he remarked, "This show is really stupid. Why are we watching this?" It was the best I had seen him in two weeks. I was thrilled, I thought that this was a great way to go into the whole stem cell transplant.

We talked about how proud he was of the kids and how much potential they have. He mentioned that he wanted to tell them, but didn't want to seem morbid.

Around midnight the nurse kept coming in to check his blood pressure. It was dropping. She had a couple doctors come in, they tried hydrating, but that didn't bring it up. So they took him to the ICU around 6:20 a.m. The doctors talked to us and started hooking him up to things. The doctor asked him, if something happens to you, Kurt, would you like to be resuscitated, he responded, "whatever you'd like to do." (so easy going!). Then he started to gasp for air. I asked the doctor if I should get family to the hospital. She said yes as soon as possible. So I called his parents and my brother to pick up the kids and eventually Ray Walton came by to be with me.

They gave him an oxygen mask which wasn't working. They had to put a tube down to his lungs, so they asked me to leave the room. Next thing you know it, they are called "Dr. Cart, room 602"--that isn't something you want to hear, that means someone is dying. That was kurt's room. So ran around the corner and they were frantically working on him. I felt like I was watching a live ER episode. It was aweful. I thought, God please don't take him the kids aren't here. So I started yelling over the doctors working on him "Kurt you can't leave us yet, the kids are coming, please don't leave, etc." A champlan stood bye me and prayed. He said, "Look, he's back." The doctor walked up and said, "he's with us." During all this I called Kurt's brother, Greg and scared the daylights out of him. Sorry Greg. Hysteria isn't one of my strong points!

I talked to the doctor about his status, he was in a bad place. They agreed to keep the meds going to elevate his heart rate, but they didn't know how long his body could take it. Thank you Ray for standing by my side. So I called his brother, the kids, his parents and Tammy and John and held the phone to his ears so they could talk to him just incase he passed. Technology at its best. I knew Kurt could hear us. He reached out to Ray and I. He was holding on. Ray and I held his hands and rubbed his head, repeating "the kids are on their way, please don't go to heaven yet; Kurt, 10 more minutes and they will be here. Kurt, sorry, it'll be 20 more minutes." I thought, he is probably really pissed. I kept reminding him that it was morning rush hour traffic and eveyone was stuck in it. We prayed over him, the champlan sang to him. I told him to talk to God and ask for forgiveness and pray to go to heaven AFTER the kids arrive!

Everyone made it! They got to talk to Kurt, kiss him, love him and be with him. I told Kurt that I was going to tell the kids right there with him about what he and I had talked about the night before--about how proud he was of them, etc. I was so happy to have shared that with them with Maddy and David by his side. He passed minutes after that.

Kurt will be missed by so many. He's with his dad right now, I'm sure. His father, David died when Kurt was eight, so imagine they are catching up, driving in fast heaven cars and eating tons of steak. Maybe my grandmas is cooking them spaghetti and gravy.

Kurt will be waked at Hallowell and James (55th St. in Countryside) from 3-9 on Friday, June 12th. We will have a memorial mass at Emmanuel Episcopal Church at 1:00 on Saturday, June 13th (Kensington Road, La Grange). (Sorry it's 2 a.m. and I'm too lazy to look up the addresses.)

Thank you everyone for your love, support and encouragement. Kurt's at peace now, I hope all of us (you too) will be too.

latest - tuesday

This will be short (I doubt it)...Kurt is finishing up chemo tomorrow. He will receive the stem cells on Thursday morning. They took his feeding tube out which really irritates Nurse Betty since he won't get as much nutrition eating on his own versus the drip. I had some words with the doctors. When I'm on the news in handcuffs, you'll know why. They remarked, "oh, we can always put it back in.." Yeah, that's easy to do when someone doesn't have an immune system and could bleed to death. (Am I being sarcastic?) Thank God Carol White (the nurse practitioner was standing by and overheard the conversation and said, "Jani's right."--shocking no one ever listens to me!) I told them that I would like to make the health decisions since Kurt is heavily medicated and as Kurt has remarked, "I have chemo brain." Sorry, Kurt. Remember, I am the drill sergeant and cheerleader. Don't make me bring a whip and Pom Pons! LOL. This would be a problem at U of C with rotating doctor staffs--not all the information gets passed on from one group to the next.

Happy to report as of one minute ago, Kurt actually drank via mouth some Ensure last night and this morning. This is great since two weeks ago he remarked, "I'm not drinking that ----!" Also, if you visit Kurt, please bring a milkshake, we have a protein powder in the room that can be mixed in the milkshake.

All I can say is thank heavens for my zoloft!

Keep the faith, jani

Saturday, June 6th

Boy oh boy the pressure to get a post on here...I didn't realize the morning popularity! Kurt started chemo on Thursday evening to get ready for the stem cell transplant set for next week. The staff decided that getting new cells in him as soon as possible was the best situation versus waiting and risking more viruses or complications.

Since the last post Kurt has started eating fruit cups, watermelon, Popsicles, and jello. They continue to use the feeling tube to give him nutrients. He has adjusted quite nicely to that strange apparatus. When he first got it, it was taped to the top of his head, so he was bobbing it up and down, having his head do a dance--always entertaining!

He hasn't had a fever in several days which is terrific. His positive attitude is back, and he is ready to move forward. As always we appreciate the love, support and prayers. xoxo

Post from Flo

Kurt apologizes for not posting, but he said he doesn't have anything to add....however, I do! This past week has been challenging for Kurt. He hasn't been able to eat/swallow due to fever, a virus and a throat issue. So they recommended a feeding tube to which he agreed since he really hasn't had a meal in 5-6 days. The feeding tube is working fine and also helps with his heart meds--dealing with high blood pressure/fast heart. The doctors want him to get stronger for the stem cell transplant--If all goes well the rest of the week, they will start chemo and some other meds on Friday to prep for the transplant. Wednesday morning he will have a new hickman line put in since "they" broke the other one.

Thanks to all for love, support, laughter, patience, visits, food and more food, gift cards, driving my kids, coffee, hugs and kisses (can't get enough of those!).

Fondly, Florence Niten Gale

The latest - from Nurse Betty

Just an fyi Kurt isn't up for blogging so I will do my best to keep you informed. Friday he finished first round of chemo to get ready for the stem cell transplant. Currently he is getting platelets to get ready for a routine lumbar puncture. The next few days he will be monitored with antibiotics and antifungal to treat two viruses.

Next week they will start another round of different chemos for the transplant. The stem cell transplant has been moved to June 6th not June 3rd. They wanted a couple more days for his bone marrow to be completely empty for the new cells.

Coach Quenville called Kurt last week which was a thrill. He asked Kurt if there was anything he could do for him, and Kurt replied, bring home the Stanley Cup. Kurt was happy to see John Scannell who was in from Texas (along with Don Dieter). Kurt still has his sense of humor on top of his "loopiness" (I don't think that's in Websters.) He had Tammy and I laughing pretty hard about the musical CATS and how last year he should have been drinking while watching older adults prance around in nylon and spandex. He occasionally likes to (escape) unhook his tubes and walk to the local restaurants.

Kurt's still optimistic and plans to fight this battle. We're right behind him!

5/20

what a differencs a 6 months maks.

Jani removed this photo. Let's not remember Kurt that way==I will find a good one!


it's offcal
I guess it's, like if you catch your drive off the tee, you get a free reload.
anyway, start chemo today. 2 different drugs, 4 hours each.
break tomorrow
back t0 the 2x4 regimin friday.
at which point, we'll have alot of alrternatives.
my 3rd birthday is coming up. june, 3 2009
wonder what to to do the january 21st one?

Revised News - post from Jani

Good news, but revised...Kurt's stem cell transplant will take place on June 3rd. Today is when they received information from the worldwide donor bank. He had routine tests (heart, pulmonary, spinal tap) today to get prepared for the week of chemotherapy, then he will have a week for his counts to go down (killing all the white and red bloods cells) so the new, healthy baby cells (stem cells) can produce new, clean blood. Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming!